mercurial baby

One of Abby's favorite pastimes upon waking is staring at her mobile. It's got jungle animals hanging from an umbrella-like contraption which, when wound, spins and plays a lullaby. Yes, that lullaby. She loves it. Apparently it's hilarious to see the long-nosed elephant swing into view for the 52nd time. Arms and legs go crazy, she smiles and makes loud, pleased sounds.

Then suddenly it is no longer hilarious. Suddenly, Abby is aware of the futility of existence, of the absurdity we all face as we come back to the same actions and foibles which define our lives. Suddenly, the elephant is not dancing around in circles for her amusement but trudging a dark and weary path from which there is no exit. Suddenly, she cries in anger and frustration, screaming in her baby-language, "Why, God, why?"



In other news, she's beginning to try to grab toys held near her.

abby loves staring at things

It's disconcerting to be looked at so intently.

precision

one doctor had the good sense to suggest that our preoccupation with scientific precision might be disturbing the delicate balance of body chemistry--Motherhood and God by Margaret Hebblethwaite

All new mothers worry, right? My worry in past weeks has been that Abby eat enough. How do we tell if she's eating enough? (1) she has 6-8 wet diapers and at least 1 dirty one every day, (2) she eats for at least 30 minutes each time, (3) she eats 6-8 times per day. You can see how this might become ridiculous. I kept charts for the first month or so--when the diapers happened, precisely how long she ate. I worried constantly when she dipped to 7 feedings a day. There were tears, I'm not going to lie.

It's not that I'm not worried now, but I don't count things any more. She pees like a champ (sorry for scatalogical references, but you're reading a baby's blog, so what do you expect?) and is gaining weight well. And, though we haven't arrived at Nursing Nirvana, things are going very well these days. I suspect that my stress over numbers contributed.

day one

Yesterday was day one of The Great Cloth Diaper Experiment. Less of an experiment, really, and more of a commitment. Do you know how long it takes for disposable diapers to decompose in landfills? Neither do I. Neither do scientists--they guess several hundred years, but the diapers haven't been around long enough to know for sure.

Anyway, we're using these fantastic cloth diapers and, so far, they are indeed fantastic. We had one blow-out last night, but I think that was due to not putting it on tightly enough.

We have about 73 colors (which is a feat since we only have 30 diapers) and Abby looks too cute in them--I'll post a photo soon.